THE OINTMENT AND BLOWS OF A TRUE FRIEND

A faithful friend is necessary for building positive character.  Such a friend does not withhold advice.

Ointment and incense gladden the heart,
And the sweetness of one’s friend is sincere counsel.  (Prov 27:9)

Straightforward advice provides guidance that leads to comfort and gladness.

So, too a faithful friend offers constructive confrontation.

Iron sharpens against iron,
And a person sharpens the character* of his friend.  (Prov 27:17)

At a blacksmith’s forge, the pounding of iron upon iron with intense heat and sparks flying produces a sharpened, more useful tool.  I have had heated exchanges with people who care.

I have been thinking along two lines.  First, I worry about how our society has created such a dearth of meaningful friendships.  Social communication is at an all-time high, but so is loneliness, depression, and despair.  Our use of social media not only keeps us in remote but like-minded groups; but also, the algorithms behind our media encourage messages that attack and demean those on the outside.  Moreover, both with “friend” and “foe,” we are not developing the skills for meaningful face-to-face conversations.  My students tell me they are not even comfortable making “cold calls” over the phone!

Secondly, I have been thinking about how much I need not just the encouraging “oil” of a friend, but also critical observations about myself and “hard” advice, even reproof.  We all have a view of life through the “binoculars” we have developed from life’s experiences, both helpful and hurtful.  We cannot help it; that is how the mind/brain works.  But, that leaves us stuck.  Introspection and non-confrontive counseling cannot reshape my character simply because I cannot see my self-limiting binoculars when I am looking through them.  I need faithful friends who will push me to broaden my perspectives and will push me toward constructive actions.

Lord, I thank you for the confrontations of your Spirit that have come from faithful friends.  I praise and thank you for such godly friends.  Help me to be receptive to those moments, as the psalmist said:

The righteous one strikes me – [it is] loving-faithfulness,
                     And reproves me  [it is] oil on my head.
May my head not oppose [it].^  (Psalm 141:5a,b,c)

Help me, also, to have the wisdom to be such a faithful friend.  Amen.

*Literally “face,” but the face is used figuratively as that which reflects the inner person.
^The next line of v. 5 (d), which I omitted, is something like, “For still my prayer is against their evil deeds” and at first glance is confusing; however, the third-person plural “their” refers back to the people who do wickedness in verse 4 and not to the righteous one (singular) who acts in faithfulness.

PSALM 32: SIN, GUILT, CONFESSION AND FORGIVENESS

Psalm 32 offers a rich theological depth about sin and forgiveness in a few, beautiful poetic lines.

Background:

Psalm 32 is an example of a “Thanksgiving/Declarative Praise” psalm.  The speaker has made a pilgrimage to the Temple, sponsoring his family, servants, and others who might not otherwise have means.  He will offer a thanksgiving (todah) sacrifice in which much of the meat will be cooked and given back to be eaten in the outer temple precincts as a celebratory, communion meal in the Presence of God.  This psalm is the text of his oral testimony to the community of what God has done, to whom he is so grateful.  His story is that he was ravaged by unconfessed sin, but when he overcame his stubbornness and confessed, God’s graceful response of forgiveness restored him.

Outline with poetic structure:

I. Opening Proclamation (Why he is thankful), 1-2

   (Based on what the psalmist has learned: Blessed is the one who is forgiven!)

            A.  Rebellion forgiven/lifted (personal), 1a

                  B.  Guilt covered (objective), 1b

                  B  Sin not reckoned against (objective), 2a

            A.  In his spirit no deceit (personal), 2b

II. Report of Deliverance (His abbreviated story), 3-5

            Trial, 3-4

                 A.  I: wasting away due to unconfessed sin, 3

                      B.  God: hand was heavy (causing affliction), 4a

                 A.   I: strength dried up, 4b

            Cry to God: acknowledged/confessed sin, 5ab

            Deliverance: received forgiveness (sins lifted away), 5c

III. Conclusion: Instruction & Affirmation (The advice he shares with his hearers), 6-11

            A.  Command: pray to God, 6

                 B.  Affirmation: God will deliver, 7

                    C.  Intention to instruct, 8

                    C.  Instruction: do not be without understanding, 9

                 B.  Affirmation: God loves those who trust Him, 10

            A.  Command: praise God, 11

Comments:

In the Opening (1-2), we learn about sin: it involves rebellion (pesha`) and deceit (remiyyah) (1a and 2b).  The essence of sin is that I, a created one, think I can run my life better than my Creator.  Like Adam and Eve, I want to be like God.  That inner deceit leads to the outer expression of living in rebellion toward God.  The consequences are sin and guilt.
We also learn about the restorative depth of God’s forgiveness.  Although sin and guilt are not visible entities; they are also not abstract notions.  The Israelite system symbolizes sin and guilt as “tangible” results that must be dealt with.  In 1b and 2a the tangible/objective nature of sin is dealt with: the guilt is buried away (kasa) and the cost of sin is no longer counted against (chashab).  In 1a and 2b there is personal restoration: the rebellious act has been lifted up/bear (nasa’) by God and the inner spirit is no longer deceived.  The person is right with God again.

In the Report (3-5), we learn about the real weight of sin.  It is as if God’s hand is pressing down on us.  The consequences are psychological and physical.  I am reminded of the time there was a movement in psychological counseling that told people that they only needed think positively about themselves.  In response, Karl Menninger wrote about the reality of guilt and how some patients were healed only after confession, in Whatever Became of Sin?
So, in the concluding instruction (6-11), the psalmist teaches what he has learned.  He tells us not to be as stubborn as he was about dealing with sin.

Lord, thank you that when I am in a state of rebellion, in unconfessed sin, that your hand is heavy upon me, letting me know of my broken relationship with you.  May my heart never become hardened to accept that condition.  Forgive my presumptuous deceit of self-rule and my prideful rebellion.  I praise you that you lift up/bear my sin.  Amen.